Yumichika's Fancy New Vagina
by icannotstanddrama
Summary: Hey ladies! I'm one of you now" exclaimed Yumichika! Then at the same moment the Women's Shinigami Assocation died...


Yumchika's Fancy New Vagina

Summary: "Hey ladies. I'm one of you now!" Exclaimed Yumchika. And of the same moment, The Shinigami Women's Association died.

Warnings: Adult language and references. Oh yea total parody of the South Park Episode. Why did I choose Yumichika? Because he's just so feminine pretty, people question his sexuality, and he probably wishes he were a girl.

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Yumchika always wondered why he wasn't born a girl. He could always express his feelings. He always had the best fashion sense. Hell, he was the most beautiful of the Soul Society.

So he went to talk to his best friend Ikkaku about this.

"Ikkaku, I have always wondered why I wasn't born a girl. I mean I could always express my feelings like a girl. I've always had the best fashion sense. Hell, I am the most beautiful of the Soul Society."

Ikkaku did not like the way this was going.

"It's like I'm a woman in the man's body"

Ikkaku really did not like the way this was going.

"Yumichika, I'm not talking about this with you."

Yumichika got pissy and walked away. Later he realized that he got over emotional like a girl. Yumichika then made his decision. – He was becoming a woman.

Yumichika waltzed over to the twelfth division. Hoping to the only man capable of doing this task…

"I am here to see Captain Kurosuchti." Yumichika said.

"The captain does not see any visitors." Said a lowly researcher.

"He's the only one who can help me! I need him to change me into a woman!" Then everyone in the research department looked at him blankly.

"W-Why would you want him to do that?" asked a researcher.

"My whole life I have felt like a was a woman trapped in a man's body. I am so much like a woman in so many ways. I'm so beautiful and fashionable. I can express my feelings…."

"Just stop. Please" they all pleaded.

"A shinigami who wants to change his gender. This is rather interesting data." A voice rang.

"Captain Kurosuchti!" They all gasped

"I have never had a specimen want to change genders. If you want this done, you have to agree to give to me your whole salary forever and you will have to my research specimen forever." Mayuri demanded

"Oh my god, of course!" Yumichika squealed.

In the exanimation room, Mayuri got to work.

"Now we are cutting off your balls and ball sac, now we are cutting the shaft of the penis, okay, now I am splitting your penis apart and tucking it under. There, done."

"Now where are my breasts?"

"Oh forgot" Then Yumchika got breasts

"OH MY GOD I'M A WOMAN NOW! I JUST HAVE TO SHOW **EVERYONE!!"**

"Moron"

The first place she went to show her newfound womanhood to was the eleventh division. She changed her clothes and had a new-skirted kimono.

"Hey Boys! A new girl is apart of the eleventh squad!" The whole division was disturbed.

"Holy Shit. Yumichika. You actually went through with it." Ikkaku said with shock.

"What the hell? Who the hell is this?" Kenpachi asked

"Its Yumichika. He had a sex change." Replied Ikkaku.

"Now Feather-lashes is a freak." Said Yachiru.

"Now I can be all flashy! Look at me, boys!" Yumichika squealed while lifting up her skirt. Everyone passed out.

"I can't believe it! I can now wear dresses. Boys get to buy me sake" Yumichika pranced around Soul Society showing her new feminine form.

Now she needed to make an appearance to the main event - a Women's Shingami Association!

"Hey ladies. I'm one of you now!" Exclaimed Yumchika. And of the same moment, The Shinigami Women's Association died.

"Y-Yumichika? What did you do to yourself?" asked Rangiku.

"So what's on the agenda today? Who's the hottest captain? How about that captain from squad 8, Captain Kyrouku? He is such a womanizer! OH! How about that Captain Kuchiki? Damn, he is just so sexy, so scrumptious!" Yumichika squealed

Byakuya shuddered when he heard that comment from Yumichika. _Why did I have to hear that? Wait, why are those women having a meeting in my house?_

"You know what we can all go shopping together, eat together, and ladies – I get to use tampons!"

"Get out, now!" demanded Nanao.

"How can you say that? I'm a woman too! I deserve to help you girls –"

"GET OUT!!!!" Nanao screamed while unleashing a sword. Now no one ever sees her with her sword, so this means she was serious. Everyone stepped back.

Later, Yumichika had a realization.

"I haven't started my period! My gollies! I'm pregnant!"

Yumichika flew down to the forth division in order to see Captain Unohana.

"Where's captain Unohana? I need to see her!" Yumichika pleaded to a fourth division member

"Why?" asked the shinigami

"Because I am pregnant!" The nameless shinigami went white. Then Yumichika saw Unohana and Isane in an examination room and she flew in and shut the door.

"Can I help you?" Asked Unohana.

Yumichika lifted her skirt and sat in the examination chair. "Captain Unohana. I'm pregnant. I need an abortion."

"Wh-what?"

"Yes, I'm pregnant. I really have no idea how this could have happened. So are you going to vacuum it out or inject it up so I can quirf it out?" asked Yumichika. Is she that serious?

"Yumichika, you can't get pregnant" Unohana told her. "You had a sex change. You were not born with a uterus and ovaries and pregnancies in the Soul Society don't happen everyday for them to get abortions"

"What?! So, I will be able to experience carrying a baby inside me just to rip it out. I will never experience a period. So, I- I'm basically I'm a man with a mutilated penis?" Yumichika freaked

"I wouldn't put it that way." Said Isane.

"So I am a man with a mutilated dick!" Yumichika cried "Damn that Kurosuchi. I will get my balls and scrotum back!"

Yumichika flew back into the twelfth division and busted into Mayuri's lab.

"You cheated me! You said I would become a woman. All you made me into was a man with a mutilated penis! Turn me back into a man NOW!"

"Absolutely not, you are my research experiment. I'm not turning you back. Besides I used your testes for another experiment I'm doing. So I believe you are stuck into being a woman"

Yumichika was now worried.

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I was originally going to make this a one-shot, but I'm having too much fun with this!!

Review please


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